General Discussion and Updates

Page 39 of 40 Previous  1 ... 21 ... 38, 39, 40  Next

Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:35 pm

Jae, first and foremost, I apologized in previous posts regarding me having  hurt your feelings unintentionally in the past.

May I remind you, I did not come here to 'fuck' with you as you have admitted and used this very word to clarify your intention to 'fuck' with me.

I wasn't upset about anybody wanting to burn the Constitution but for a group that claims to stand for human rights, it is incredibly ignorant to not understand that the Bill of Rights are rights that come from you and not your government or your society. To trade that set of principles and demand they come from Government and society is incredibly stupid and dangerous in my opinion.

That being said, the conversation as I recall on the QR channel was about sexual abuse. My stance back then and still is today, that unless the victim fights back, the abuse often continues and is condoned by society through silent complicity. We clearly see that today with the 'Me Too' campaign. The culture of complicity and silence is stunning and we are ALL responsible by putting the shame and focus on the victim rather than empowering the victim to stand up, speak up and fight back. I see no shame in my stance!

To the contrary, your reaction and maybe that of others back then was again an emotional reaction which lead to totally missing my point and accusing me of victim blaming instead. Because as we know and have seen here, when emotions overrule rationale, we come to really distorted conclusions about our observations.

When I was 16, I was dragged off my bike and this guy had the intention of raping me. I was lucky enough to be raised a warrior and I fought with tooth and nail and escaped. I reported the incident and soon enough I had to identify the guy at the police station through some invisible window. I was the third girl that reported him.  I requested to see him in his face because I wanted to make sure that if I would ever run into him ( and I did on numerous occasions afterwards) I was not going to be afraid.

My point being, my mother raised my sister and I warriors. We were raised to fight back and so we did and still do when injustice crosses our path. If we can change our culture by raising warriors that go after the perpetrators, we can create a culture where abusers don't have the complicity and silence of the public.

Jae, you dragged your own experiences into this and blamed me for your pain which was caused by some incredible lowlife because you could not see the rationale of my argument at the time. Not because I have some despicable point of view. Because I don't. But because you reacted with emotions and could not separate an online discussion from the pain that your experience caused you.


Last edited by DutchessMaria on Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:48 pm

I do think Jae that your last post is very honest. And I do want to reiterate that I rather have an honest reply than silent grudges.

Originally I didn't recall what our disagreement was about but as time went by on this forum, I did recall.
Your perceptions about me are your perceptions just as my perceptions about you being emotional rather than rational, are mine.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Thu Oct 26, 2017 7:31 pm

Is our culture still blaming the victim? Or have we made it possible for victims to come forward?

Admin
Admin

Posts : 529
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:33 pm

I love how you again have missed the point and continue to fall back on content rather than delivery. You keep arguing your points and your opinions. It's not about your facts, it's not about your opinions, it's about how you relay them to people. I don't care about the victim blaming stance, I care that you cannot handle a difference of opinion and you blamed our abuse for our opinions, and you continue to blame emotions because people refuse to agree with you. Which again reiterates my point that you completely lack insight and personal reflection.

Whether or not people have different perceptions as you claim, and whatever may lead to those perceptions, you lack any respect for it, you just go on belittling people and being condescending. You continue to blame me for your sense of superiority and your degradation of people who try to converse with you, and you write it off as their problem so you don't have to acknowledge it. So whatever, what I learned in the past and what I continue to see is that there is no reasoning with you, so I'm not going to try anymore.

Jae

Posts : 112
Join date : 2017-05-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:22 pm

Is there any chance of changing the topic?

Admin
Admin

Posts : 529
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:01 pm

Jae, it was you accusing me I was victim blaming on the QR channel when I was not!

Jae, it was you here wanting to 'fuck' with me. You wanted your cake and eat it too! 'Fuck' with me but when exposed of having a deeply flawed interpretation of your rights, you could not find the courage and maturity to admit you were wrong. Why do you have such a hard time admitting you are wrong? Like any of us are perfect? Perfection is an illusion!

Jae, it was me apologizing if I had hurt you in the process. And the way you re-frame my words rather than directly quoting them is just more evidence of what you read that is not there but your mind is playing that trick so you change the interpretation of my posts with your own words instead.
You have a lot of soul searching to do but please portray your anger and frustration on those that have done you harm.

I do tolerate differences of opinion or I would not have left the Democratic party and become an Independent voter. I had at least the courage to find fault in my own party and my own views rather than being blinded with partisan ship. I had the courage to look critically at many issues that bring on mass confusion and realize that I have a lot to learn.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:19 pm

James, our culture is still blaming the victim but is bringing more and more awareness to the public. More and more women are less afraid to speak out but still too many are afraid.

Of course I believe in the individual's choice to pursue sexual harassment. If a woman does not want to pursue it for fear of retalliation, shame etc, etc, I totally understand.

My point is that we as a whole, as a society, should make it possible for women to expose these crimes without having to fear retaliation or shaming. In order to get to that level, we must raise both our girls AND boys with awareness.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:53 pm

Maria, your recollection of the events is skewed. The conversation started with victim blaming and ended with you calling us damaged goods. While I can appreciate an apology, it means nothing when you keep doing the same shit years later.

I still believe what I believe about my rights, you didn't prove me wrong, and this still isn't about WHAT we were arguing about, but HOW you argue. You may fill your brain and your days with research and facts, but you do indeed have a lot to learn about interpersonal relationships and healthy communication.

And by the way, it was not my idea to fuck with you, I was just the one who told you we were doing it.

Jae

Posts : 112
Join date : 2017-05-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:24 am

What the hell are 'damaged goods'? I know this is not a phrase I used because it is so foreign to me. You got me confused with someone else! I would never call someone who had experienced sexual abuse 'damaged goods!!!!!!!!!!!

Or are you making this up to save face?


Last edited by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:31 am; edited 2 times in total

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:27 am

And yes you are correct. You can believe your 'rights' were taken from you. I don't see how anybody could violate your rights if they were indeed taken away. How can you violate something that does not exist in the first place?

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:33 am

what the fuck are you talking about anymore?

Jae

Posts : 112
Join date : 2017-05-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:35 am

No Jae, I stand with my observation that you are so emotional about this topic of the past, that you are contributing American phrases to my past posts on the QR channel, that I would have never used and are not part of my vocabulary and are very foreign to me!

Again, I never blamed victims either. I am however from the opinion that the cycle of abuse has less of a chance of surviving if the victim does fight back.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:38 am

Laughing she's still trying to argue a point, can't make one comment without jamming some arguable point in there somewhere FML Laughing

This conversation didn't even happen on the QR channel, and for someone who just barely remembered this argument a few days ago, you find your memory of the incident to be pretty damn reliable...cool

Jae

Posts : 112
Join date : 2017-05-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:43 am

Coming back on the topic if women want to speak out.....many women in the past few weeks  have come forward saying they regret signing 'gag orders' or with other words, signing settlement agreements that has a gag order in it!

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:47 am

"she's still trying to argue a point, can't make one comment without jamming some arguable point in there somewhere FML Laughing

This conversation didn't even happen on the QR channel, and for someone who just barely remembered this argument a few days ago, you find your memory of the incident to be pretty damn reliable...cool"

"Damaged goods" a typical American phrase I  never use. Yes this happened on Ipeace and yes, I have a life with enormous responsibilities and don't have time to cling to internet grudges of the past.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:52 am

I guess I'm just one of those burn me once and we're done kind of people...and we are done

Jae

Posts : 112
Join date : 2017-05-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:53 am

Here we are, we agreed  at least 90-95% on issues from anti antisemitism to islamophobia but yet somehow I singled out sexually abused people and called them 'damaged goods', a term so foreign to me, it is almost comical!

No Jae, the words 'damaged goods' stem from your mind. You are the one that uses those words in your vocabulary. You are the one that interpreted my posts and used your own words to define it rather than copying and pasting my exact words ! And you did it on this forum as well.





Last edited by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:59 am; edited 1 time in total

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:38 am

And you can't stop and think. You have to argue. You have to BE RIGHT. You have to EXPLAIN.

Maria. You're in the wrong.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 363
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:40 am

I didn't come to argue.

I came to wish James a happy birthday. I hope you have a wonderful day despite the way it started out.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 363
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:45 am

By the way ... we're emotional. It's a part of our species. HUMANS are emotional.

Saying we need to have discussions without emotion is like saying we can have breathing without oxygen.

On that note, it's almost 4 am. I'm off to bed.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 363
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:43 am

Thank you Dee for the Happy Birthday. I’m assuming FB told you, lol.

Look, I don’t remember this conversation regarding sexual assault or whether it happened on ipeace or QR. But with so many urgent issues, basically a time of crisis, on our hands, we all still have much more in common than not, and need people like each other in order to make any sort of positive change.

We have definitely encouraged a culture of sexual repression in the US, and I’d argue Canada and the U.K. get in on that, because of deeply seeded institutional forces such as puritanical belief systems and the Catholic Church. The fact that our president is a perpetrator of the culture is disturbing and unbelieveable to me because we are clearly not making the strides we should be if even women voted for Trump.

And we can have no credibly good respond advocating for abuses against women around the world if the democratic countries do not get this under control.

One of my daughter’ friends, and my daughter is ten, had a cell phone full of sexting messages from an adult male. I ended up reporting it to the principal. That ended up getting prosecuted but it goes to show how deeply embedded this is in our culture.


Last edited by Admin on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:51 am; edited 1 time in total

Admin
Admin

Posts : 529
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:22 am

Dee, I am very sorry you feel that way but  I went over your last grievances to show how you jumped to conclusions without having my words to back up your conclusions.

I could do the same with Jae's posts to show how she uses her vocabulary while claiming those are my words. She did it a couple of times here on this forum.
The words 'damaged goods' are her words. Her interpretations. They don't exist in my vocabulary. She also was the one who was all for it to 'fuck' with me ( again her vocabulary) and apparently you signed off on it too.
So no, I do not accept your statement that I am in the wrong here.

This all comes down to taking responsibility. According to you and Jae I am this cold hearted person who is always right. Yet I was the one apologizing if I had unintentionally hurt Jae's feelings in the past yet you  haven't even  apologized you jumped on the bandwagon 'to fuck with me'. I am not asking for an apology. I am merely pointing out the hypocrisy.

I have three kids and when I am wrong, I apologize or tell my kids they were right and I was wrong. So no, your interpretations are so off about my personae.

I do admit I am not very well equipped with writing skills. I often type and change and move sentences, have typo errors and grammatical errors and odd expressions or more straight forward expressions as most Europeans do when they address issues. In general, Europeans are way more straight forward than Americans who 'package' their words and are less confrontational as you would call it. This also could be a result of the English language having so many more ways of expressing yourself. Many other foreign languages are very limited in expressing yourself.

Anyway, I don't want you to get all worked up again either. At this point, any of this is so irrelevant to the bigger picture.
As James pointed out, we have so many real problems going on that are extremely urgent. Puerto Rico not having drinking water is a disgrace and a crisis that is ready to blow up, just to mention an example.


Last edited by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:35 am; edited 2 times in total

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:27 am

James, your daughter's friends cellphone issue is alarming. My kids did not have cellphones until much later. Talk to your kids about the dangers of human trafficking. The average age of trafficked girls is 14. They are lured from their homes and they come from all socio economics backgrounds. Make sure you keep the communications open with your children and don't assume human traffickers are only after girls either.

I reported a suspected human trafficking incident that I saw in a parking lot about 10 months ago.


Last edited by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:31 am; edited 2 times in total

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:29 am

Happy Bday James. How old are you now? Or how young I should ask?

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:41 am

I do want to put this out there as well.

I know what I stand for and no, I don't fall for people telling me that their false interpretations are my stances because they are not.

Why? Because I lived through witnessing abuse myself. Not sexual abuse but domestic violence. As a result my mother became an activist who started the first domestic abuse safe houses in the Netherlands. My sister and I were witnesses to this activism so no, this whole notion that I blame victims is so ludicrous.

Using your emotions to falsely accuse others is not ok! It is a form of abuse in itself. It is a form of gas lighting.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 39 of 40 Previous  1 ... 21 ... 38, 39, 40  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum