General Discussion and Updates

Page 38 of 40 Previous  1 ... 20 ... 37, 38, 39, 40  Next

Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:55 pm

I feel like I came off as a complete dick. I hope my broader argument makes sense.

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:19 pm

None of us comes across as anything other than what we are: people at a computer (or phone) having conversation WITHOUT the benefit of tone and body language. I think we need to set up a video chat via Skype for all of us to be able to gain that mind picture of each other that may fill in when we're having discussions only in text. Without the tone of voice and body language we are bound to make misinterpretations, as evidenced in earlier pages and hurt feelings.

Where Dubbya is concerned, he's always been a thoughful and well spoken person, except when he wasn't. Yeah, he threw us into illegal wars based on false intelligence. Instead of admitting to that and making reparations, he let it continue. That is unforgivable. I also think the office of President is insulating to the degree that advisors take over and your own ability to make decisions is so overwhelmed that you're bound to make errors in judgement.

Where 45 is concerned he's got his hands in the wrong pies and has been making emotional decisions based on a few extremists he has in his cabinet as advisors. His own VP is an extremist in his Christian values and tried to force them on the state for which he was Governor. They WANT war in the middle east. It'll bring their messiah back faster if Israel is destroyed, so keeping it hot and heavy over there will, in their minds, bring armageddon to pass faster. And they have the ear of the man with his finger on the button.

I've been quiet. It happens with me, as you all know. Then I BLURB out a long post. I just haven't been feeling well and definitely not sociable. Chromie has been forcing sociability on me the past week with an old friend of his, and his wife. I'm a person that is horribly bothered by body odors. My nose is very sensitive. They're awesome people but I doubt they use deodorant and it turns my stomach. Being stuck in a small PT Cruiser with them is not something I find appealing. Being on the bus with them is bad enough. They really are very nice people. But please, spend time in a well ventilated space. I don't socialize when I'm not bathed and smelling fresh.

Oh, my phone died again a few days ago. Had it plugged in the car, Chromie turned on the car and it went to black. Wouldn't turn on at all. I bought it at a huge discount on Swappa but didn't expect this level of problems. It's the 3rd time I've sent it for repairs. This time, it's dead. No hope of recovery. And here's where Sprint is awesome. I pay the insurance every month. $13 a month isn't a lot of money when they'll be replacing my phone with a new one because they can't repair it this time. The power unit is fried. I just got the call that they'll be processing a swap out and I should have my new phone in a few days. Smile yay!!
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:25 pm

I'm sorry, I don't have much insight on anxiety in youth since I have very little interaction with non-Adults. I don't even see my granddaughter.

I do know my sister had a huge fight with her kids teachers when homework became too overwhelming. It was classwork that hadn't gotten done. And it was not because the boys weren't doing it, they just ran out of time. The teacher overestimated what they could complete and just dumped it on them to finish outside of class. They're SIX. So by that measure, yes, I think kids are being asked too much in the wrong areas. If they show a predilection for sciences or languages, throw that at them. Let them excel where their interests are, not force them into something they have no interest in other than making sure they have the basic knowledge if the need for the skill or information should come up in their lives.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:26 pm

James, I don't think there is such a thing as 'emotional' intelligence. They are two very different things. I was being facetious about you cracking down on Laura. I know she can handle your criticism and I didn't think it was meant in a mean way from your part.

As for my disabled daughter, in the end, is it about gains or is it about quality of life and happiness? See, what we measure as gains in general, doesn't matter so much in the life of a disabled person.

Would Katya be served knowing math? Or would she be served participating in an activity and having fun? The first item is something we measure with normal functioning children and we strive for them to be good at math.

With Katya I strive for her to be happy and have fun. That is how she learns and what she learns is merely a plus. At the end of the day, her happiness is all that counts while a normal child still has to perform and create their own happiness. It is true that the disabled depend heavily for their happiness on others. I think that is where all my focus has been.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:32 pm

" I also think the office of President is insulating to the degree that advisors take over and your own ability to make decisions is so overwhelmed that you're bound to make errors in judgement"

I agree. I am not sure how much of Bush's presidency came from Bush himself.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:37 pm

I personally think I am pretty tough. Or at least I have become. The word 'retard' does nothing for me when people speak of the mentally disabled for example. It does not stir me. The plain meaning of the word is correct. It is the other way around. Society has made the word a taboo word. Just like with the word 'negro', which to me was a very normal word until I found out it has become a taboo word.

There are definitely people that care less about the disabled at all levels and are not afraid to voice it. They are ignorant in my opinion and lack altruism. Kind of the 'Ayn Rand' attitude. While Ayn Rand was a very intelligent person and not at all wrong on everything, she was however all about herself which is not mutually exclusive with looking at an individual as a sovereign being.


Last edited by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:45 pm; edited 1 time in total

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:39 pm

Oh Dee, that sensitivity to smell reminds me of my pregnancies. Horrible.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:55 pm

Did you have a lot of morning sickness, Maria? My wife got pregnant with our daughter right after my son (they are 19 months apart), and the second pregnancy was more intense then the first.

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:59 pm

As a disabled person in a wheelchair, I can attest that we're often ignored. Blatantly, without regard, ignored. To the degree where I have the money or card in my hand - WITH MY NAME ON IT - I'm the customer - and they talk to my boyfriend. He's gotten very good at putting them in the proper frame of mind. "Speak to her!"

I think with the severely impaired, quality of life is most important. Even though I'm not cognitively impaired, my quality is also dependent on others, especially on the worst days. Having to ask your significant other to clean you after using the facilities is humbling, in the least. A mark of true devotion that he does it without complaint is reassuring and puts me in tears every time. I don't ask often though.

My sense of smell has always been heightened. My mother too. We were the ones who could smell the oven pilot had blown out or someone had just relit it within seconds of it happening. Body odors are the worst, especially when your head is located at most people's chest level. UGH the number of pits I've had shoved into my face is disgusting.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:12 pm

I am really sorry Dee. I get the dependency. At every turn, I ask myself if my daughter is comfortable.Not too cold, not too hot, not in a position of irritation, boredom, you name it.

It takes a very perceptive person to work with the disabled. It be someone solely physically disabled or both or just mentally disabled.

Having to teach the District about  my daughter's Sensory Processing, has been an eye opening for myself as well as some of the staff who were clueless.

I just think some people have better capabilities in recognizing the obstacles disabled people have.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by DutchessMaria on Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:15 pm

I took care of a neglected dog for a year and a half. This is a long story but I did it. Drove out to his house twice a day. Started giving him regular meals, giving him a regular bath. Bought him a pillow. Took him to the beach and on long walks ect. It was heart breaking to see him neglected by his owners and so I took it upon myself with their permission. Many people knew about the neglect yet nobody did anything.

DutchessMaria

Posts : 382
Join date : 2017-06-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:20 pm

Honestly I don't have the patience at times, only because of my own issues. Ella, our 79 yr old roommate, has been getting worse with her dementia and physical abilities. Something is wrong with her right leg. If it's the knee she had replaced in the late 90s or something else, we're having a hell of a time getting action from the center where she goes. She's in agony. She can't lift it, can't bend it, can't put weight on it without horrid pain. We have to follow her into her room and lift the leg into bed for her. I've screamed. I've threatened. They don't have to listen to me though. She never gave me medical power of attorney and they're dragging their feet to get it done. Due to HIPPA, none of them are legally allowed to talk to me about what is or isn't being done and she's not of sound mind to relate what's happening.  I suggested a notebook be sent back and forth each day. It works for my sister and her 3 kids with their teachers; same principle. Nope. HIPPA.  I'm going to have to get her granddaughter to ride their asses, she's blood, and they may listen to her more than me. But she can get really mean and aggressive is why I hold off. She's the ammunition for later as things get more difficult.

I'd like for engineers who make products for us to test them. If you are engineering a wheelchair for mobility, take it out on a city bus. Ride down the cobblestone walkways. Try to cross a street with short crossing times. Go up and down the street cutouts. Realize that the footpad you put on this damned thing is NOT right and the adjustments don't make it any better.

Bless you for devoting yourself totally to her needs. All of Ella's family ran away.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:25 pm

What ended up happening with the dog? How did you know the people who owned the dog? Why didn’t you report them?

PS: Dee or Maria, have you considered service dogs? Would Katya do well with a service dog?

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:36 pm

Maria, I am sorry that I don't honestly recall the exact condition, but what is Katya's disability?

I feel like disabled implies less than to be honest. It turns people into the condition. I do agree with Laura that caregivers can end up with secondary trauma, so I hope you both have a recovery place/ time to get away from it all. The mental break at a minimum might help?

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:33 am

My only break is online or our pokemon venturing. Otherwise I'm here, with her. I *CAN* take "respite time" with the center she goes too. They'll put her in a nursing facility for the time I need and I'm pretty free to go about as I wish. Thankfully her grandson and granddaughter just moved back to town. We could actually do an overnight here or there and there'd be someone reliable to check in on her or take her places. Maybe show an interest in her other than just Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not her birthday. Not any other holidays. The rest of the year only one or two call - or she'll call them. At 2:30 am because she has no concept of time.

Break? only if I want to make her totally miserable and risk her life. I wouldn't wish those "care homes" on my worst enemy. So I get no break. She's such a kind soul who's given her entire life. Anyone who needed help, she'd give. So, it's giving back
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:46 pm

Laura, how’s pregnancy going?

Dee, if you are struggling to take care of yourself, then how are you taking care of Ella?

Maria, how’s your week been this far with Katya?

I am in middle of renewing my security clearance for work, so it has been tedious. I have mostly still been trying to ignore the news although I did see that senator Flake is not seeking reflection because of Trump. It looks like Bergdahl may get off completely because of Trump’s idiotic reinforcement of his campaign statements on Bergdahl.

I wanted to be clear that I have an emotional response because everyone serving in Afghanistan had shitty days all the time and struggled in. It is one thing not to believe in the president or the war and quite another to endanger your unit and fellow servicemen. That is beyond contemptible, to feel you are a special enough snow flake to screw over everyone else. The military would not function if everyone got to act on their personal feelings and traumas.

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:07 am

I do what I can. What I can't do, Chromie does. She has an aide T/TH and goes to the center M/W/F. He's also come to care for her and does his best to keep us both happy.

Where Berghdal is concerned, I agree with you.
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by laurav on Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:21 pm

It's been a drag on my end with the morning sickness (which should be called all day sickness btw) and related fatigue, but whatever.

Outside of the nonsense with the bar complaint, work has been busy. I don't know how others may see it, but I basically see there as being two kinds of attorneys--ones who want to settle and solve problems and ones who just thrive on and have a need for conflict. The former I consider myself, as I very rarely, with maybe two exceptions, have a dog in the case and it's working out the $$ and negotiations. But this year has been the year for attorneys who just don't seem to get the concept of compromise or give and take.....sometimes I want to remind opposing counsel that we're not the ones getting divorced.

I have to go back and read the comments from the last few pages tbh and will do that later.

laurav

Posts : 283
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 32

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 25, 2017 3:34 pm

Good to hear from you, Laura (sounds like you have some specific examples). We have been talking about caregiving challenges for the disabled.


Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by laurav on Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:20 pm

It's not even worth getting into, but I will aanyway--just a lot of contentious stuff for no reason. I represent the former husband/dad in a post-judgment (post-divorce) case. He's always had custody. Mom is a screw up. We had to cancel a depo scheduled for today because he's a contractor and his client's roof collapsed last night from Irma-related damage, obligating him to respond today.

This woman, opposing counsel, begins an onslaught of accusations against my client, saying he was out drinking last night and never came home, that he was not really at work (all of which is disprovable by the way). The atty is making the accusations because the mom is pumping their 14 year old daughter via text messages constantly last night and today to say these things (and these are horrible texts she is sending to her daughter non stop).

Like I said mom is a total screw up, and we have texts between her and her daughter, where she is talking about using drugs with her daughter. Yet, this psycho attorney is filing motions for sanctions against my client for canceling the depo and does not even seem to see the greater harm of manipulating the teenage daughter to get involved when she should be focused on appropriate teenage things. Kind of discouraging.

Then I have a case where I am a guardian ad litem, where a now seven year old boy's mom was a victim of human trafficking and in June came down to Orlando from California with her pimp and son. She was murdered in knife attack in a hotel about a week later.

Because it happened in Florida, the child came into state custody in Florida and judge appointed me to the case etc. Last several months I have been advocating to try and move him to Oregon with his grandfather and some other relatives.

Well, I got a report Monday from Oregon that indicated the grandfather was convicted of negligent homicide of a toddler and did significant prison time from 1999 to about 2007, and that the grandmother lost custody of the brother of the kid I represent because she continued to allow registered sex offenders to live in her home --so the grandfather and grandmother lied on their applications and also to me multiple times.

He cannot go into care with any of the California family because of their records and human trafficking involvement; dad is total unknown; and he cannot go to Oregon now. So I have to file for the court to proceed with adopting him out in Florida.

Without being too judgmental, I think I have become utterly disillusioned with the human race.

laurav

Posts : 283
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 32

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 25, 2017 6:35 pm

And that was depressing....

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:35 pm

Laura that sound horribly sad and very depressing. I'm sure your adjusting hormone levels are also making it feel even worse. Quite horrible for both children, actually. I hope they find stable environments to allow them to grow to their fullest potential.

I'm sorry to read about your constant sickness. I didn't have any with either child. Just cravings to beat the band. With my son it was indulging in Friendly brand sundaes. It was bad enough to just have the craving but I lived near 3 Friendly restaurants.  I gained 50 lbs - he was 9lb 4oz.... With April I craved ice. That's it. The smashed igloo ice you get in a bag, not the kind from the freezer. Had to be the big bag. I chipped so many teeth while preggers with her. LOL  I hope you have no crazy cravings and that your sickness eases up. That's just no fun when you should be happy about growing this little life. Are you starting to show at all? Is Zoe any more cognizant that she's going to be a big sister?

Today was a good day for me. My pain was low. I was able to get a long shower and wash this mess I call hair.  It's down to my butt. It's just too much hair for me to "like" taking care of and I only wash it every week to ten days. I can't wear it loose, it wraps around my arms, neck, up under my ass when I sit down or it'll trap between my body and whatever I'm sitting on, locking my head in an uncomfortable position until I can dislodge it from where it's stuck. A few weeks ago I tossed my braid behind me in my wheelchair and it wrapped around the headrest post, trapping me in the chair. I want to get it cut. Luckily I don't have the money right now or it'd be very short.  Then I think about how bad I look with short hair. I have huge cheeks. I'm very round. At least the long hair gives me a "nice" attribute if people can't think of any nice thing to say to me, they comment on my hair.  

I keep it braided or up but it's so long that it takes me about 30 minutes to properly wash and condition. Then a few more hours to dry. I showered around 3 pm and it's still damp in the thickest parts at 9:30 pm. If I do cut it it'll probably just be to mid-back range. That's what I did a few years ago and that was much more manageable.

So I also had a voice mail when I got up. My replacement phone was at the Sprint store and I could come get it. I arrived at the store, the manager was in the back but saw me on the cam and came out with my phone in hand and waived me to a station so he could do the setup. It's so nice to be treated well in retail. I'm not built for retail. I have a smart mouth, don't tolerate stupidity or lying well and would totally flip off for no particular reason. I worked in retail enough to know it's not for me.

That kind of customer service is what makes companies great. Because they treat me well and work hard to fulfill their promises, I will stay with them. I used my phone on LTE while downtown and it's improved greatly in the past few months. I'll give it a try at different times of the day to see if it is actually better. I hope so. They've been promising stronger signals for a while.

Jae, you're much missed! I hope you come to read occasionally and will chime in some time soon.

Maria, how are things in your life?

James, is your home a working farm? Do your kids get into 4H or anything like that? Is everyone recovering well from Harvey?
avatar
Dee S

Posts : 360
Join date : 2017-05-28
Age : 53
Location : Norton Shores, MI

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:09 pm

It's a semi-functional farm. I assist my uncle, a retired doctor, who farms full time and uses my land as well.

They are into 4H. We're doing well after Harvey. Things have gotten back to a state of quasi-normal, where you tune out the damage around you.

Maria hope your week has been going well and your family is doing well. Still curious about the dog story etc. Have you considered a service dog for Katya?

I am least qualified person to comment on pregnancies, other than my wife's second was definitely worse than the first. I think just having a little one speeding around the place increases the sickness.


Last edited by Admin on Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:15 pm

And I miss all of you when I don't hear from you. Jae, the candle light vigil is ongoing. Search and rescue team is on its way.

Admin
Admin

Posts : 527
Join date : 2017-05-28
Location : Texas

View user profile http://forumforus.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Thu Oct 26, 2017 12:41 am

Ironically I had just checked in for the first time yesterday and was busy formulating my response today before I decided to come on here and post. To be perfectly honest, I was not sure I would return at all. Yes, I believe that my purpose in this forum must be vastly different from others; I came here hoping to reconnect with old friends and have healthy intellectually stimulating discussions. I did not come here for aggressive arguments that turn into berating lectures. That's exactly what has happened and this situation was not the first.

Maria, I don't believe you possess the ability to have healthy productive debates or discussions. You lecture people, you talk down to people, you refuse to listen to others, you utilize ad hominems whenever it benefits you, and you lack a considerable amount of insight. You maintain this position of superiority where you believe that if people don't agree with you, the only possible explanation is that they don't understand, they are ignorant, or they are totally incompetent. And you make sure that everyone feels that way. I didn't walk away from any argument because you proved me wrong or because I lacked comprehension, it was because I can't stand the way you communicate and the way you treat people. But in order to protect your own ego, in order to avoid reflecting on yourself, you write it off as some childish tantrum or overwhelming frustration of my moronic little brain when confronted with your insurmountable intellect.

You're right that we agreed on many things on the YT channel and we never had any problems until I disagreed with you, then the claws came out. I never saw through to these tactics on the channel and maybe it was because I didn't want to see them, but I came face to face with them soon enough. As for the argument that severed our ties before, while we argued about victims of child abuse, the final straw was not the topic itself, but your response to us when we disagreed with you; it wasn't just me, the discussion involved Dee and James as well. After the typical back and forth, when you realized you were not changing our minds, you stated that the reason we disagreed with you was not because we had a different belief system, different viewpoints, or different experiences, it was because we were, and I quote: “damaged goods,” who couldn't think or see clearly. I detest that phrase and I will never forget your wanton and callous use of it. And yet again, if people disagree with Maria, the only possibility is that there must be something inherently wrong with them.

You accused me of having no consideration for other viewpoints, but you're the one who can't handle them, and must degrade them to diminish their threat to you. Until mutual respect is demonstrated here, I will not participate in “debates” on the battlefield you have created, and if need be, I will leave the board entirely, because I do not need a repeat of the debacle that took place at the last one.

So get the candlelight vigil ready, just in case...

Jae

Posts : 112
Join date : 2017-05-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 38 of 40 Previous  1 ... 20 ... 37, 38, 39, 40  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum