General Discussion and Updates

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Wed Dec 12, 2018 1:32 pm

I didn't intend on her seeing my uncle, and I don't think he'd be interested in doing it. But she should see someone and she's unwilling to deal with the fact that she has a mental illness.

But I dunno. I suppose we're all kind of crazy in our own ways. It's a real drain 24/7 with her, but the kids are getting older, so after a few more years, they'll both be teenagers, and they can just decide who they want to live with.

WTH is going on in the Trump admin these days? I think things are shaping up to get murkier in the White House if that's possible.

The Russian spy thing. The detention of the huawei exec. And as of 22 minutes ago, it looks like Theresa May may be truly out.
The immigration situation MUST be fixed. Healthcare must be fixed. Those are the essentials that the House will have to be wilin g

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Wed Dec 12, 2018 2:55 pm

I really hope all gets resolved with your family. My heart breaks for all of you.

As for 45, I knew this would happen. This is the craziness finally whirling up to it's natural ending. He's been attacking every level of government and public safety as well as anything Obama did for the ecology. He's a spite-filled little man who can't meet his maker too soon. There are only a few people I truly hate in this world. He tops the list. He's evil, personified.

I don't know much about Theresa May and her policies. Just haven't paid any attention to her.

The Russians have always been a problem. Perhaps if the US acknowledges their sovereignty, and stops (or tones down) their surveillance, they'll do the same. Maybe if all the countries in the world WORKED TOGETHER rather than compete. If we all worked together on space exploration, a world economy that supports the poorer, and real climate change research and countermovements, PERHAPS we'll be able to save the blue marble that we've been abusing so badly.

Immigration needs to work with poor immigrants. If they're willing to work (and every one I've met IS) they should be permitted to work off fees rather than return to the country they've left. And the fees need to be lowered to a more realistic amount. Just the fees themselves are a deterrent to legal immigration.

Canadian immigration fees https://www.immigration.ca/canada-s-citizenship-fee-raised

American immigration fees https://visaguide.world/us-visa/fees/

In both places the fees have gone up. If you notice US visa fees are much higher in most cases than Canadian. I didn't look for UK or other countries.

I agree with you on healthcare. Too many people are now without insurance or heading that way with the gearing down of the ACA. Another fuckup by the head cheeto in charge.
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Thu Dec 20, 2018 4:02 pm

The situation is mostly static on my end. Jada is back for the holidays at least, so that's something. I don't know what my next move is, if any. Like suggested, control is not what's important here.

Dee and Laura, any pics?

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Thu Dec 20, 2018 4:56 pm

Nothing recent. I'm afraid that Chromie has come down with a bout of shingles again and I'm not permitted near Ian while this is ongoing. Please pray for a quick scabbing for Chromie. I won't be seeing Ian any time near the holidays and am very depressed over it. I had just recovered from a nasty cold/cough and was making plans to go see him this week. Well, that's not gonna happen.

I'm glad to hear Jada is back. Gives you opportunity to sit and have the difficult conversations, if you so choose to do so.
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:53 pm

How did everyone's holiday go?

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Dec 28, 2018 1:26 pm

Nothing special here. I cooked a big dinner. No presents. No lights or tree. How was yours?
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Dec 28, 2018 1:27 pm

OH! I did do a thing.

I chopped off my hair.

Video is on my FB
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by laurav on Fri Dec 28, 2018 2:59 pm

It's been good, bad and crazy. Zoe turned four. First birthday with the ex. Christmas was okay. Went through two trees because one had a disease. That was a first. Lots of lights outside for Zoe's sake.

Since steven found out I was dating Eric, he's been intolerable. Hyper involved and borderline stalking. Wants to change our parenting plan etc. Eric is wonderful with kids though, and Zoe loves him. That does not help. But Steven has been major jack ass. He shows up every single day to house to see kids. Constantly messages me etc.

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:34 pm

That sounds like a huge problem building up. Set boundaries. You are allowed to do that. He left the marriage. He made his choice. For the sake of your sanity, please have visitation days, times and acceptable holidays put into writing. I'm glad you have Eric but please don't allow Steven to continue this controlling bullshit. He needs to stay away unless agreed upon in advance. You're not keeping the kids from him. You're keeping sanity and structure in their lives. And yours.
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by laurav on Tue Jan 01, 2019 12:42 pm

Hi all,

Happy New Year! I'm going to do my best to have a positive outlook.

Dee, I agree that boundaries is really important. I had a bad incident where he dropped the girls off randomly at the house, and it was a very inappropriate time. After that occurred he backed off a bit. The single best thing would be for him to get in a relationship.

I added my boyfriend Eric so we would have some people. I will also post photos when I can.

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Wed Jan 02, 2019 2:19 pm

Great. How are you Dee?

Things are still the same on the domestic front on my end. We did the holidays together.

So this shit down if it goes a couple more days will be the third longest in history.

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Jan 04, 2019 2:08 pm

Hi Eric. Welcome to the forum Smile

Laura I agree with you to a degree. Steven needs to find someone other than you to focus on and it can't involve disturbing your private time when he has the girls or using them to get ahold of you. That's just furthering the controlling bullshit from your marriage.

James, I wish you well on however you want this to turn out.

Jae, where'd you go? Please come back.

So, bubby (Ian) is getting much bigger. Due to Dwaine's shingles breakout we didn't get to see him over Christmas. I'll put up a few pix. Like I said a few days ago, I chopped off my hair. Over 30 inches of hair. It had gotten frayed, thin and unmanageable. After 25+ years of not cutting my hair. It's kind of a big deal to me.

Every brush of hair was a tangle and I wasn't doing anything with it other than braiding it up or putting it in a lazy bun.

So here's my haircut and sweet grandson






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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Admin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:34 pm

Dee, I'm more of a short (or shortish) hair on womenth...think Frankie on Wentworth. I think it looks really good.

I saw the FB video of your little guy. It is beautiful. He seems so smart and engaged. Very fortunate to have him in your life.

This shut down is insane. Trump has crossed the line. He shows no regard or care for anyone but his own political life. Contrast that with George H. Bush raising taxes and shooting his relection campaign in the foot because it was the right thing to do.

Also, would McCain have done better against Obama if he had tapped into racism and bigotry? He refused to and went out of his way to correct that attitude in his supporters.

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Sun Jan 06, 2019 12:57 am

The short hair is growing on me daily. I still haven't dyed it. The white is framing and unique. I also have a rash that would make dying right now a little painful. So I'll wait until that's controlled again. I think it was partly due to my hygiene/depression issues. I don't cut, I pick. So any bump or imperfection my fingers find are up for removal. I'm my own worst enemy. The Buspirone my Dr ordered has been helping a lot with the major anxiety (in the car and when Dwaine gets overly loud but mostly for sleeping) but it's never enough to stop me, even sleeping. I seem to be having very vivid, vocal and physical dreams. I've punched him twice so far while asleep. NOT love taps! He retaliates with the nastiest gas I've ever born witness to.

TY for the compliment on Ian. He's really a great blessing! We had a lot of fun with them yesterday. He's finally gaining some good control on his fingers and we were doing some dexterity face touching last night. He accidentally grabbed my hair. He stopped himself from pulling, untangled his fingers and touched my cheek, very gently. So I touched his. He grabbed my nose. I grabbed his, and on it went for a while. It was so sweet. He was cooing the entire time. I can't believe he's only 4 months old. So smart.

A friend of mine is working without pay due to the shutdown right now. She said if it continues into next week she's filing for state unemployment. She just can't cope without income. It's that simple. I think Americans are getting fed up with what he's doing. He's tearing our country apart one firmly held belief after another. No regard to the UNION. None to the REPUBLIC and laws? He laughs. Laws don't apply to the teflon don (yeah I know it was meant for a mobster but it fits DJT a lot better).

McCain would have done much better than to tap an idiot for running mate. Even though I didn't agree with everything McCain did, I feel he was pretty trustworthy and had a heart of service. He was a true gentleman and always worked across the aisle. I never got into his platform too much because I could never vote for his running mate.
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Jae on Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:26 am

So I decided to pop in and make an appearance. To be honest, when I first received James' email, my initial reaction was frustration that it had taken 6 months to block Maria when we had discussed that the majority of us would prefer to not have her here. In that time I lost the motivation to be an active participant in the forum, and I say without any hostility that I'm not sure what my level of motivation is now.

But to provide the Cliff's notes of my year in review since it has been so long since I've posted, I went to Cozumel (island off of Cancun) in March for a fantastic scuba diving trip, then returned and had foot surgery in May to remove a bunion named Bertha. I had shared with you guys that I was preparing for artificial insemination, and I began treatments in July, but had no success after three months so I took a break after it was becoming increasingly difficult for me emotionally each month. It didn't help that my sister-in-law got pregnant when I didn't, but I am looking forward to meeting a new nephew or niece in April (they're keeping the gender a surprise). I moved to a new apartment, not far from my old place but much closer to my dad and a little closer to my mom. Work became increasingly stressful in September and I nearly quit, then my children's program had its first suicide in October, which was extremely emotionally challenging and put me in a brief depression. I am in a much better place emotionally now, I am preparing to start fertility treatments again soon and remain optimistic for the time being.

Seems like there have been a lot of changes with you guys too James and Laura. Dee I keep up with on the face book, but Laura it sounds like some of these changes are for the best, James I hope you and Jada come to some understanding regarding your daughter.

Hoping everyone has better things to come this year.

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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by Dee S on Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:25 am

Oh Jae, how exciting! So much going on with you. Will say some prayers all goes well with the next treatments.

I hope you join in more. I miss our discussions. A lot.
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Re: General Discussion and Updates

Post by laurav on Tue Jan 15, 2019 10:43 am

Hi Jae,

Glad you checked in. The fertility thing is always frustrating for most people I think. For me, the best fertility treatment I ever did was taking contraceptives, since I got pregnant both times while on them (I think a medication I take reduced their effect). I tried for almost two years after Zoe and gave up because we were not getting pregnant. So hang in there, I am sure it will work.

In regards to divorce, I think it was for the best. Actually the same day Jae posted, I had thought about what Jae wrote over a year ago that staying in a relationship that is unhappy is not the best thing for my child, and I reminded myself of that in the courthouse.

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